The Secret To A Long Lasting Relationship

The Secret To A Long Lasting Relationship
The Secret To A Long Lasting Relationship

Developing a loving connection between two people requires a lot of work and consideration on a variety of fronts. It is helpful, to say the least if two individuals have certain things in common with regard to the ways in which they prefer to spend their time and the interests that they pursue.

It is also beneficial if they share similar beliefs towards politics, the environment, personal development, and abortion, as well as religious or spiritual practices. It is beneficial if both of them consume unhealthy foods or both consume healthy foods that are organic. It makes life simpler if both parties are tidy or both parties are messy,

if both parties are punctual or if both parties are constantly running behind schedule. A person’s physical attractiveness is also a factor that should not be overlooked. It’s wonderful if they share a similar outlook on how money and expenditures should be handled.

The Secret To A Long Lasting Relationship
The Secret To A Long Lasting Relationship

But despite having all of these things, a couple may not have a loving relationship even if they do have one of the other things if they are missing something. If this key component is missing, then the amazing qualities that are present in the other aspects of the relationship won’t be enough to make it successful.

This key component has to do with having the right intentions.

Every one of us is solely focused on only one of these two goals at any one time: either to maintain control or to increase our knowledge. When we have the aim to control, our innermost motive is to have control over whether or not we experience love.

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Whether or not we avoid pain, and whether or not we feel secure. When we go out with the purpose of acquiring new knowledge, the most compelling reason for us to do so is the desire to become more loving, both toward ourselves and toward others. A relationship can be thrown into disarray when one partner is motivated more by the want to receive love than by the desire to provide love.

Let’s take a look at a common problem that arises in relationships and see what occurs when two different goals collide. Both Jason and Samantha are experiencing feelings of emotional distance from one another, and it’s been a whole month since they’ve had any sexual activity together.

The conflict began when Samantha mentioned that she desired to go on an expensive trip, and Jason voiced his opposition to the idea. After Samantha’s outburst, Jason caved to her demands, and ever since then, the two of them have maintained a hostile relationship.

The Secret To A Long Lasting Relationship
The Secret To A Long Lasting Relationship

Samantha’s goal was to achieve her goals in a manner over which she retained some measure of control. She considers an expensive trip to be a representation of love and believes that if Jason provides this for her, he is able to demonstrate his affection for her.

She channeled her rage into a means of exercising control and achieving what she desired via the use of that emotion. She desires to have control over how she is perceived by Jason as being unique.

The goal of Jason’s actions is to keep himself away from uncomfortable feelings. He sacrificed himself so that he could exert control over Samantha’s feelings and ensure that she would not be furious with him. He has high expectations that if he satisfies Samantha’s requests, she would think of him as a kind and responsible spouse.

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Their relationship, on the other hand, resulted in an emotional barrier between them since Jason and Samantha were each attempting to exert control over the other rather than being loving to themselves and to each other.

What would it have been like for them to learn if that had been their goal all along?

If Samantha’s goal had been to gain knowledge, she wouldn’t have reacted in such a hostile manner to the information. Instead, she would have been interested in comprehending Jason’s reservations about the situation. If Jason’s goal all along had been to get knowledge, he never would have given up his own life for it.

Instead, he would have been interested in learning why Samantha felt that this specific vacation was so significant to her. Rather than focusing on gaining love or avoiding misery, Samantha and Jason would have been more concerned with the well-being of both themselves and each other.

During the course of their conversation with one another, during which they would have explored the reasons behind the ways in which they had each experienced the situation, they would have learned everything about themselves and about one another that they required in order to find a solution that was beneficial to both parties. Instead of Samantha allegedly winning and Jason ostensibly losing, they would have come up with a solution that they both could have lived with.

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If Jason had given his worries about money a little more thought, he could have come to the conclusion that the trip Samantha wanted to take would not be a problem for them. It’s possible that Samantha would have chosen a cheaper holiday destination if she had a better understanding of Jason’s anxieties about their finances. They both would have had a positive attitude regardless of the decision that was made in the situation.

When Jason and Samantha’s primary goal in their relationship is to dominate each other rather than learn from one another, regardless of how many things they share in common or how strongly they are drawn to one another, their love for one another will inevitably suffer.

It’s astonishing how quickly love may fizzle out when one or both partners are motivated by a desire to exert dominance over the other. When both parties have the intention to learn, it’s incredible how quickly they can get back into it.

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